


Fear

by kathasaurus_rex



Series: Baby Loki [19]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety, Kid Fic, Loki (Marvel) Has Issues, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, References to Depression, Science Family, Superfamily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-07-02 02:46:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15787368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kathasaurus_rex/pseuds/kathasaurus_rex
Summary: Loki decided to stay in his dorm for the first year of college. He doesn't last long.





	Fear

**Author's Note:**

> I'm planning to write another snippet about this (also, Loki's magic, because that's gonna be coming into the story soon) but Loki has diagnosed depression and anxiety, and they come into play in this story. If this will trigger you in any way, please click off of this story! <3 As usual, if you'd like to request a snippet, please comment below. 
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> UPDATE (1/13/19): Minor edits and revisions made.

Loki was regretting his decision to live in the dorms for his first year of college. No, he was _more_ than regretting it.

There he was, sat in his single dorm between his morning chemistry lab and his afternoon college writing course, eating a pint of vegan ice cream and maybe crying a little bit (and by a little bit, he meant a lot). He wanted to be _home_ \- what was he thinking, telling his dads that he wanted to be in a dorm? In _no way_ did he want to live in a dorm! Yeah, there was some small semblance of independence, but he was also lonely. So, so lonely. And the paranoia that had set in was terrifying - he had taken to double-checking the locks every half an hour at night, and sleeping… well, that had been hard to come by.

Arthur hadn’t been able to afford the dorms, so he was still living at home with his mom. Cadyn had headed off to the University of Wisconsin two weeks prior, and Loki already missed her so much. He and Arthur had a few breaks in which they could spend time together, and Arthur had slept over twice in Loki’s lonely single dorm room, but still.

He wanted to go home. But… it was only Wednesday. He could wait until the weekend, right?

… Right?

 

///

 

He couldn’t wait until the weekend. He walked out of his afternoon class and he felt so heavy and sad. It was three-forty-five, and Arthur was still in class. He couldn’t call Peter because he was working, and Cadyn was at her work study job (he had memorized her schedule as soon as she posted it to the group chat).

But… Papa was home. He knew that because it was a Wednesday and Wednesday was fish taco night. He could always just take the car to class on Thursday and Friday, spend the weekend at home, and return on Sunday night? That would work, right?

 _They won’t mind_ , Loki thought, _they love you._

Loki rushed back to his lonely dorm room and immediately began to throw clothes into his duffel, making sure Hawk-Bear was there as well before zipping it back up and rummaging through his backpack to make sure he had everything he would need.

“Henry, where are you going?”

Loki had only just stepped out of his room and there was the football player that lived down the hall. “I’m… going to go see my parents,” he admitted slowly. “I miss them, and my cat.”

“Oh, cool. See you later, dude.”

 _Thanks gods for small favors_. “Yep, cool, bye.” And then he was off, rushing out of the building and out towards the front of campus, looking to hail a taxi.

 

///

 

Loki was standing in the elevator, already feeling more at ease.

The taxi ride had been too long for his liking, but as soon as he stepped out by the entrance to the private car garage, his stomach had begun to settle. He waved happily to the security guard, Gus, and ran his StarkPhone over the reader, thanking him when it lit up green and let him through, and over to the private elevator.

And there he was then, stepping off the elevator into the penthouse and letting out a happy sob.

A shuffling from the kitchen. “Tony, that you?”

Loki continued to cry as he dropped everything he had been holding and rushed towards the kitchen, stopping in the doorway and watching as Bruce turned around, cup of tea in hand.

“Bug, what’re you doing home?” Bruce asked, surprised.

“Papa,” Loki choked out, walking towards him and being pulled quickly into a hug, the tea slid onto the counter in a practiced motion as Bruce held him close, stroking one hand up and down his back, the other clasping the nape of Loki’s neck. “I’m s-sorry-”

“Honey, there’s no reason for you to apologize,” Bruce soothed, mind racing with worry. “Did something happen? Nobody hurt you, did they?”

Loki sniffled and folded himself closer to his Papa. “Nobody hurt me. I… I was just so _sad_ , Papa, and I was sitting in my room and I felt like I couldn’t breathe, and I just missed you guys so much, a-and my room, and Fitzgerald… I’m s-so so-sorry!” And then he was sobbing near violently, and Bruce was keeping up the gentle rub on his back as he listened.

Bruce hummed gently. “Get all your tears out, bug. It’s alright - we’ll figure this out.”

And so there they stayed for nearly twenty minutes as Loki slowly calmed himself back down, eventually just sniffling a bit and pulling back to blink at Bruce, tears still clinging to his eyelashes, the remnants crawling down his cheeks.

“You want some tea, bug?” Bruce finally asked.

“Yes, please,” Loki replied, grabbing a tissue from the counter and blowing his nose several times, eventually moving to throw it away and wash his hands, listening to the all too well known way that Papa made tea. It was _home_ , in the simplest of terms. Loki sank down onto one of the barstools and pulled his sleeves down over his hands, snuggling himself and wiping the tears from his cheeks. There was music playing, something quiet and soft, which meant that Bruce was probably taking a break from going over research.

They moved over to the booth once the tea had brewed, and Loki held his favorite mug in shaky hands, taking slow, easy sips and trying to figure out how to start.

But Bruce spoke first. “You wanna talk about what’s going on?”

“I’m… I don’t know what to say.” Loki admitted, tears beginning to fall without him meaning for them to. “I was just feeling really bad, Papa. I felt like all the air was sucked out of me and I couldn’t stop crying and I just… Papa, I think I made the wrong choice, a-asking you guys if I could live in the dorm. I feel so unsafe, all the time.”

“Even with all the different safety stuff that Dad installed?” Bruce asked.

“Yeah. I haven’t slept in days, Papa. I keep thinking someone’s gonna push into my room a-and it doesn’t…” Loki looked down at his lap. “It doesn’t smell right.”

Bruce let out a sigh. “Bug, it’s-”

“Please don’t make me stay there.” Loki blurted out, stomach already seizing. “I made a mistake, I-I wasn’t thinking. I know you and Daddy already paid for it, but-”

It was at that moment that Tony walked in, wiping his hands off on his grease rag. His eyesbrows shot up in surprise at the sight of his younger son sat down with a cup of tea. “Squirt?” Loki turned to face him then, and when Tony caught sight of tears and red-rimmed eyes, he froze. “What happened? Who do I gotta have murdered?”

“Tony…”

“No, Daddy, no one hurt me.” Loki whispered, looking down at the mug and shivering slightly. “I just… I’m…” He sniffled, and blinked away the fresh onset of tears. “Papa…”

Bruce motioned for Tony to come closer as he slid around the table, and both men pulled Loki into a hug, warm and tight, just as they used to as a child when he grew upset and could no longer control his emotions. And Loki simply clung to them, unsure of how to speak, how to voice what was happening inside his mind.

 

///

 

Bruce ended up having to explain to Tony in hushed sentences what Loki had told him, as Loki took a warm shower to calm himself down. Tony understood - he had worried that something along those lines might happen, and he was so sorry to hear that his worries had come to fruition.

When Loki walked back out, in his space leggings and one of Arthur’s old soccer jerseys, he had Fitzgerald in his arms, the old, fat cat purring happily. “Hey,” he croaked out.

“Hey bug,” Bruce said. “Come sit with us, and we can talk a bit.”

Loki complied, sinking down between Bruce and Tony on the plush couch and letting Tony settle a blanket over all three of them.

“If you don’t want to stay in the dorms, squirt,” Tony started, “then you absolutely don’t have to. Loki, honey, it doesn’t matter that we paid for you to stay there - your health and your happiness are more important to Papa and I than all the money in the world. If you want, you can try again next year, or we can look into other options even. But college is already scary and stressful enough.”

Bruce nodded in agreement. “And you deserve to feel safe and happy where you live. If we can ensure that for you, then we will do so. Alright?”

Loki nodded, tears sliding once again down over his cheeks as he leaned against Tony’s shoulder, curling his knees up so his toes were tucked under Bruce’s thigh. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“Now, what time does Happy have to take you to school in the morning? 10:45 is your morning class on Thursdays, right?” Tony asked.

“Yeah, but I can take a taxi, Daddy. Happy doesn’t have to drive me.”

“You’re not gonna take a taxi every day. Happy loves driving you - I’m sure he would pitch a fit if he heard you were taking a taxi to school.” Tony explained. “I’ll message him and let him know.”

Bruce ran a hand back through Loki’s still-damp hair and smiled. “Did you finish all your school work?”

“For the most part, yes.” Loki nodded. “Everything for tomorrow, at least.”

“Let’s watch a movie, then. And I know we normally have tacos, but why don’t we order some pizza, okay?” Tony asked.

Loki nodded, smiling a bit. “Okay, Daddy.”

 

///

 

Loki fell asleep that night cuddled between his dads on the couch in the den, the menu screen for _Star Trek: Into Darkness_ still playing on the screen. Tony was snoring loudly - Bruce snuffling against Loki’s shoulder. Fitzgerald was stretched out across Loki’s lap, purring.

Things would get better.


End file.
